Yeo Zheng Le, 16

School: Yishun Town Secondary School

Topic: Email about your father’s gift

Award: Merit, Senior Category, 2022

Dear Uncle John,

I hope this finds you well. It was shocking, hearing that you were diagnosed with end stage kidney failure. Hence, I want you to know that your nephew will be another supporter of yours throughout this. However, this email is written to you in an attempt to change your mind. On the topic of whether to accept my father’s kidney or not, I promise that accepting it is a wonderful choice.

Firstly, I understand that it is very worrying for you to have your own family member make such a huge commitment to you and for it to possibly be at their expense. However, I assure you that my father would be fine after donating. Health wise, according to the National Kidney Foundation, donors do live a normal life after the donation. This is because everyone has a second kidney and so, after the donation of one, the other would increase in size to make up for the loss. As a result, bodily functions before and after would be nearly indistinguishable. Though there are some possible side effects of having only one kidney like a greater risk of high blood pressure and reduced kidney function, the chances are low. Other than that, it is possible to experience pain, intestinal obstruction or hernia, but such cases are so rare that there is no national statistic on the frequency of them. Obviously, there are also the small issues like having to take sick leave, having to be more careful and of course, the scar from the surgery, but to my father it is considered minor compared to the act of saving his own brother.

Now away from how safe kidney donation is, one of the major things plaguing my father is the effect that kidney failure would have on your life. Apart from the direct impacts of kidney failure itself, he thinks that your lifestyle would be largely affected. As an example, dialysis itself presents a big issue. You must keep in mind that going for dialysis requires time out of your day and it would be very inconvenient for you. This is because on average, the most common type of dialysis, haemodialysis, usually takes four hours per session and is done about three times a week. As a result, it is guaranteed that you must take time out of your work to go for the sessions. Being the sole breadwinner of your family, my father believes that having to add such things onto your plate is highly obstructive and so, is not favourable at all. Not only that, but dialysis also has a whole list of side effects which include muscle cramping, difficulty sleeping and even worse, itching. In the starting stages of dialysis, you may feel a drop in blood pressure and experience things like feeling sick to your stomach and vomiting. So, dialysis, though it saves your life, would also bring about drastic and horrifying change to it.

Besides yourself, my father also worries about the well-being of your family. He thinks that being medically unsuitable to donate a kidney to you must surely have taken a toll on them. Knowing that their hero suffers on the inside despite the strong front he puts up, watching him be hooked up to a machine several times a week and being powerless to change would no doubt be degrading to their mental health. Also, my father knows that it is not just the fact that it is painful for them to see, but it is also inevitable that aunty worries about herself and your children if you do pass away. This is because, being the sole breadwinner of your family, your departure would be devastating for them financially. Not to mention, it is for sure going to make it difficult for her to find a job while coping with the loss. My cousins have their own share of problems that come with this as well. Their father would be gone from this world. Their mother would be away searching for a job. They would have no one caring for them. Like salt to open wounds, this also joins the plethora of worries that aunty is going to have.

Finally, the uncertainty of you being placed on the deceased donor list has been torturing my father. According to the National University Hospital, the average waiting time for a deceased donor kidney transplant is 9.3 years as of 2020. It does not help that the life expectancy for patients on dialysis is 5 to 10 years on average. Though there have been many cases of people living 20 years and more, to him it is just unacceptable to take such a risk. Another thing is that just the thought of you facing the severities of dialysis and kidney failure for such a long time is unbearable to him as without a donor, you would be on dialysis for the rest of your life. He hates the idea of you being confined to the lifestyle that dialysis requires you to have. So, he wants to do the transplant as soon as possible.

In conclusion, his motivation to donate to you is fuelled by wanting to save you and wanting to put an end to everyone’s worries. It weighs heavily on him that he is the only one now that can donate a kidney to you. Uncle, you mean a great deal to your family. To us. I am one of the many cheering you on through these tough times and always will be regardless of your decision but please, accepting my father’s kidney will bring only our rejoice. It will not harm my father. It will bring you out of this nightmare and it will relieve every one of their worries.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wish you nothing but the best and hope to see you healthy and well again.

Love,
Zheng Le

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2022 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health). To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg