Heidi Teh Elie, 15

School: Outram Secondary School

Topic: Email about your father’s gift

Award: Special Mention, Senior Category, 2022

Hi Uncle Joseph,

How are you? I heard from my father that you were diagnosed with end stage kidney failure and just started on dialysis. My father visited me and told me all about your situation. He mentioned that he offered to donate a kidney to you but that you rejected the offer. My father genuinely wants to donate the kidney to you and I am writing in hopes you might reconsider the offer that my father is proposing.

I recognise that you are the sole breadwinner of your family and you still need to provide for your family. They are all relying on you for support on many aspects, like food, financial support and emotional support. I am certain you are aware that you are the backbone of the family and they are unable to live without you and they would be thrilled to see you well and healthy. Dialysis comes with high financial costs with the possibility of a lifetime without getting back to your old self too, but with a new kidney, you get a brand-new life with fewer costs. In Singapore, dialysis could cost from $2,500 to more than $4,000 a month. Just imagine how much you would have to spend on just dialysis.

Having to be on dialysis constantly is exhausting to begin with, and on top of that you still have to work your 9-to-5 job. There are so many side effects of dialysis and it is not guaranteed you will be better even after doing dialysis and you will be doing it for decades of your life. The recovery rates range between 10% and 15% within the first 30 days of dialysis initiation. If you have it in a dialysis center, each session lasts around 3 to 5 hours, and you’ll need it three times a week. If you have hemodialysis at home, you’ll need treatments for 6 or 7 days for 2 to 3 hours each time. They are all very time consuming and on top of work, I am certain you will not be able to find the time to go for the treatment. The benefits of accepting a kidney from my father far outweighs the benefits of doing dialysis.

My father surely has not been the best brother, loving and supporting you when you were younger, but he definitely wants to make a change and wants to help and support you every step of the way now and in the future. Your family also wants you to recover as soon and see you back to your energetic fit self.

Even though you are placed on the deceased donor waiting list, the waiting time to receive a kidney transplant would take very long. With the number of people on the waiting list waiting for a kidney far outweighing the number of people who are willing to donate a kidney, you might have to wait an extremely long time, time that you might not even afford to waste in a situation where your kidney might deteriorate. Statistics show that siblings have a 25% chance of being an “exact match” for a living donor and a 50% chance of being a “half-match”, however none of your siblings match your blood type. There are over 3,000 new patients added to the kidney waiting list each month but 13 people die each day while waiting for a life-saving kidney transplant. The average waiting time for a kidney transplant is 9 years, but here is an opportunity knocking on your door so why not take advantage of it?

I was concerned about you and went to do my research on kidney transplantations. I came across a story of this lady, Mdm Rosyati, sharing her own experience coping with end-stage renal failure. She was only in her thirties when she was diagnosed with the illness. She could not bear to accept the kidney that her husband was offering to donate as the operation could have been unsuccessful since she had two young children. She was on dialysis for 10 years and it was hard for her family, and they had to take turns to bring her to and from the dialysis center. She was always feeling tired and needed to excuse herself from events like Hari Raya. Her husband offered to donate his kidney again, and because she did not want her family’s lifestyle to be restrained because of her anymore so she decided to take up his offer. After the transplant, her and her husband both had a speedy recovery and she could walk normally and attend family gatherings. She is now able to live her life healthily and is eternally grateful to her husband which gave her that life. Think about how brave her husband was to give her that kidney for the sake of his loved one. Mdm Rosyati is able to live a finer life because of the kidney that her husband gave to her.

You mean the world to us too and we consider you our closest family. I am sure Auntie Lily wants you to recover as soon as possible and would be rather distraught worrying about you every day. Everyone hopes that you will recover back to your normal self and since you have the opportunity, why not?

From the bottom of my heart, I wish for you to have a speedy recovery and no longer have to worry about your condition. I vividly remember the fond memories that we have had when I was just a child. You would always bring me to eat scrumptious food, go to amusement parks and help me with my homework. If I didn’t love and appreciate everything you have done for me, I would not be writing this letter.

I hope you can consider an offer that is beneficial to you. I’m hoping that the next time I see you will be after the transplant where you are fully recovered back to your normal self.

With lots of love,
Janet

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2022 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health). To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg