Ang Nichapa, 15

School: Evergreen Secondary School

Topic: Your organ transplant journey as a teenager

Award: Fifth Place, Junior Category, 2024

My Light, Our Light

Art, a form of expression; one of the rare yet beautiful talents. Seen with the eyes of individuals who sought serenity through alluring paintings. I was an artist—a splendid one. Painting was my getaway from the outside world, a place where I could go to let my inner child release its creativity. Claude Monet, a famous painter who perceived art with his eyes. His paint strokes were so graceful that they each had a story of their own. He was my inspiration because painting was my life; my light. From then, I also used my eyes to paint stories on blank canvases. But little did I know, this small little aspiration and expression of mine would be short-lived.

I had been getting eye pain and blurry vision for the past two months or so. It was a hectic two months since I was preparing for my art exhibitions for school, so I brushed this “small” issue of decreased vision aside. I could still remember the exact words I mumbled to myself as my vision blurred each time—I can still see so there is no need to worry. Some people call this the “famous last words”. Had I known why my vision was declining, I could have prevented this from happening. I finally gave in after noticing that the pain had increased in severity and visited an optometrist with my mother. “Miss, you have to be prepared to hear this. Your diagnosis came out and results are positive that you have infectious keratitis.” I sat back and stared blankly at the optometrist, “infectious keratitis?” The disorientated look on both my mother’s and my face made the optometrist ambivalent to explain the diagnosis to me. “Unfortunately, you are going to go blind in about six months.” Those words hit me like a bullet train and my face dropped.

“You are joking… right? I am actually not going to go blind, this must be all… a mistake.” I stuttered as tears wet my face and dripped onto my mother’s hands. Both the adults in the room that day comforted me but I knew from that day that my light was gone. As all the words and devastation slowly overwhelmed me, I thought about my paintings. How was I ever going to “tell” stories again?

Within less than six months I could feel something different, like darkness engulfing me; I lost sight of the things I love—I stopped painting since I could no longer grasp the strokes of the brush. I fell into a dark abyss of melancholy. Everyday was a battle. As time went on, the checkups I attended to slow the degradation of sight no longer worked because the blindness was at its inevitable stage.

However, there’s a saying that goes, “there’s light even in the darkest places”. I found a saviour. Fortunately, someone donated their cornea. The donor signed up to be an organ donor when they passed so the cornea was donated to me. Happy was an understatement, I was overjoyed and grateful. I proceeded with the surgery, with a fifty percent chance of regaining my sight. I was willing to take the risk to see the light again. Finally, when everything was done, I opened my eyes. For the first time in 4 months, I could see my mother’s teary face, my father’s soft gaze and anticipation from all the relatives who wished for my safe recovery clearly. I noticed that at a corner of the hospital room, there was an abstract painting that I did before I was diagnosed. I eventually realised how this person who donated their cornea to me, impacted my future. It made me reminisce about the days where I painted my whole imagination on a simple white canvas. I am able to fulfil and chase after the light because this person had just saved my life. They pulled me out from the void that was consuming me from within, so that I am able to be who I am today.

Today, I still paint. Claude Monet is still my inspiration. I can see the colours of my paint, feel the warmness and chill of the warm and cool tones. To the person who saved my life, I hope you are in a better place—I will show you the art of the world through the gift you have bestowed on me. On top of that, our eyes glowed brighter than ever. I am, at last, able to show everyone My Light, Our Light.

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2024 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health).

To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg