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Senior
Nguyen Phuc Song Nguyen, 16
School
Singapore Chinese Girls' School
12 January 2025
An email to encourage a kidney dialysis patient.
School: Singapore Chinese Girls' School
Topic: An email to encourage a kidney dialysis patient
Award: Fourth Place, Senior Category, 2025
Dear Uncle Richard,
I hope this email finds you well. I am Nguyen, one of the SCGS student volunteers who had the privilege of visiting the dialysis centre recently. As I recall, you shared with us that although your family members are healthy, you felt extremely uneasy to ask if they could consider donating a kidney for you. You may not be able to remember me right away as our chat was rather brief, but I would like to let you know your story stayed with me long after I left. Hence, I am writing to you now to in turn share with you some stories and offer my sincere encouragement, which I hope helps you consider the said option moving forward.
Please allow me to share about my grandfather who was also on dialysis for a few years. I have many loving memories of him. He was a gentle, family-oriented veteran who never wanted to "trouble" anyone. Like you, his kidneys functioned poorly due to complications from high blood pressure and he had to be hospitalised for a prolonged time. Towards the critical stage, he could not bring himself to discuss with us family members about the possibility of donation, even when he knew a transplant was pivotal for him to stay with us. It was my greatest loss that he passed before we were made aware of the gravity of the situation and found a matching donor. His story serves as a poignant reminder for me of how sacrifice, though often noble, can sometimes cost one and their loved ones pain in every sense.
On a more positive note, I would like to share with you the journey of a former kidney patient we read about during our volunteer orientation, Mr Carl de Vries. A national bowler, he dreaded when chronic kidney disease sapped his strength immensely - simple tasks like climbing stairs became impossible, and his once energetic lifestyle was hanged onto needles and life-sustaining machines. Carl could have never realised how many people would be willing to help until he was upfront about his vulnerable condition, when nine friends and family members unhesitatingly came forward to get tested. His brother Marc ended up being the only match. Despite living abroad and not being particularly close to Carl at the time, Marc stepped forward to donate one of his kidneys without a second thought. Post-transplant, not only did Carl regain his strength, but the brothers also grew more close-knitted than ever before. Marc shared, “Naturally after the transplant, we open up to each other more now.”
Moreover, from scientific and statistical standpoints, kidney transplants are life changing. Reality is, the average wait time for a kidney from a deceased donor is nearly eight years. In Singapore, 103 kidney transplants were performed in 2024, with a success rate of over 99% according to the National Organ Transplant Unit and National University Hospital. Studies and doctors agree that living donor kidney transplants have the best outcomes before the patient’s condition becomes critical, especially given the average wait time for patients in Singapore who received a kidney from a deceased donor was roughly 8 years. According to the National Kidney Foundation Singapore, transplant patients live on average, 10 to 15 years longer than those on dialysis. More importantly, their quality of life after the transplant often improves dramatically. Imagine being free from rigid treatment schedules and strict dietary limitations - your family members must feel great joy seeing you indulging in the richest of things life has to offer: family meals, morning walks, even just waking up and feeling like yourself, Uncle Richard!
Hence, I hope that by sharing my two cents, my thoughts and genuine concern would reach you.
I understand how dire it must be to initiate such an emotional conversation, as not only does it involve health - which as paramount as it is, is beyond your control - but also love, fear, and the weight of not wanting to burden others. May I suggest you view this matter in a different light: not as a demand, but an invitation – to talk, to share, and resonate with your family members. Instead of being put off by the idea of donation, you might simply put it forward as, “I’ve been finding dialysis very tough lately, and I’ve been learning more about what a transplant could mean, would you mind me sharing some information on it?”. As we can see from Carl’s story above, genuine connection and empathy opens the door in the most heartfelt way. I truly believe that understanding the struggles of our loved ones is more than adequately motivating for us to help lighten their burdens in whatever way we can.
May I further assure you that even if your loved ones are not ready to donate, or are unfortunately not suitable matches, such conversation still remains extremely meaningful, as you will allow your family to step into your shoes and see the daily realities they might not have fully grasped. Also, please be reminded that you could always tap on our dedicated healthcare team. As such, you could seek accurate medical information from your doctor or transplant coordinator and have them address any concerns you or your family may have. Beyond personal matters, your journey will enhance awareness within our community and inspire other caretakers and patients who are also considering organ transplants, potentially transforming hundreds of lives.
Uncle Richard, please know that everyone has your best interests at heart. Your immense strength has never gone unnoticed, and I believe that same strength shall aid you in taking the ultimate leap of faith. Thank you again for opening up to us that day. I hope you realise your incredible resilience in the face of adversity has deeply touched someone, and will continue to. You will never be alone. Oftentimes, the courage to speak is the greatest gift we give – not just to ourselves, but to those who yearn to love us better.
Wishing you health and happiness,
Nguyen
References
Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2025 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health).
To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg