Scott Teo Kia Qi (Zhang Jiaqi), 16

School: Punggol Secondary School

Topic: An email to encourage a kidney dialysis patient

Award: Senior Category, 2025

Dear Ali, 

How have you been? I hope this message finds you in good spirits. I am Scott Teo and I had the honour and privilege of meeting you during our recent visit to the dialysis centre as part of my school’s community service programme. Your warmth and openness left a lasting impression on me, and I have been pondering deeply about our conversation ever since. 

Firstly, I would like to express my deepest sympathy for what you are going through. I can only imagine how challenging it must be to undergo dialysis several times a week. The physical toll it takes, the emotional strain, and the way it disrupts your everyday life. Your perseverance, in the face of such a demanding routine, is truly admirable. Personally, I have chronic gastritis and eczema. Even with these, there are times when I feel isolated, unsure if others can truly relate. It is mentally demanding. There are days where it feels like sleep is the only escape. When we were talking, I couldn’t help but to feel a sense of compassion. What I am going through cannot compare to your experience, and knowing you still found the strength to smile through everything you are facing moved me deeply. Even now whenever I think about our conversation, I cannot help but feel that unshakable desire to reach out to you. 

During our chat, you mentioned that you felt hesitant or even embarrassed to ask your family members for a kidney donation. That moment stuck with me like a velcro, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I may not be someone who has known you since birth, nor do I claim to know your life, but as someone who believes in communication and the love of family, I certainly hope that what I share here encourages you. 

Asking a loved one for something as significant as an organ yet being concerned about putting your loved ones in a difficult position can feel overwhelming. Regardless, I still strongly believe that if they are willing, this transplant could change not just your life, but theirs too. Nevertheless, I understand your hesitation. Right now, you might not have the heart to make such a request, but with a successful kidney transplant, you could regain that sense of independence, energy, and freedom. I know it is easier said than done but it would also mean more laughter and brightness in your family's lives. Your loved ones want to see you happy and healthy, and a transplant could bring that hope within reach.

Sometimes, we underestimate the love our family members have for us. They may not have come across the idea of donation, not because they do not care, but simply because the subject hasn’t been brought up. Your family members are definitely more than willing to help, yet they could be unaware that you are hoping for that chance. This is why opening up to them could be the first step toward giving them that chance to show their love in a meaningful way. It is not about being demanding; it is about giving yourself the glimmer of hope and giving them the opportunity to show how much they care for you. You would be surprised how often people are ready to go the extra mile for someone they love, especially when they understand the impact it can have. 

Firstly, it would be best if you could find a moment when you and your family members are emotionally present and can speak without distractions, and express your feelings honestly. Let them know how grateful you are for their support but also share how tough dialysis has been for you and how a transplant would improve your quality of life. It can be as simple as ‘I am extremely thankful…’. Next make it clear that you understand how serious the reality of asking a loved one to consider kidney donation is and that you are not expecting an immediate answer. If your family members still have doubts, suggest that they talk to your doctor or transplant coordinator to learn more about the risks, procedures, and long-term effects. More importantly, you can reassure them that your relationship with them will not be affected by their decision, regardless of the outcome. This allows them freedom to consider the process, yet having the reassurance that your bond with them will not change. 

Alternatively, if it feels overwhelming to begin the conversation alone, you could ask your doctor, a nurse, or even a counsellor at the dialysis centre to help facilitate the discussion. If not, you could also initiate the conversation but also have any of them by your side, they may even help convince your family too! 

Ali, I want you to know how proud I am of the strength you have shown. You are such a strong young man, I truly believe you have the courage to speak with your loved ones. I want you to know that your loved ones might actually feel honoured that you trust them enough to ask. Even if they decide not to donate, having that conversation will allow them to increase their emotional understanding towards you, and to sympathise with you. 

If you ever need emotional support, I am always just an email away. You are truly an inspiration that I never thought I needed. 

Lastly, do you remember that plush bear I gave you? If the world ever becomes too heavy, hug it tight. Let it carry the weight your heart cannot carry in that moment. Imagine it whispering all the things that I would say if I were there: I am proud of you, you matter so much, and that you are never alone. I wish you well. 

With warmest regards,

Scott Teo

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2025 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health).

To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg