Zheng Yilin Elaine, 15

School: Anglican High School

Topic: An email to encourage a kidney dialysis patient

Award: Senior Category, 2025

Dear Jake, 

I know you have been going through a lot recently, and as a student who visited to your dialysis centre, I wanted to take a moment to support your incredible strength in managing dialysis. From all the visits there, I can only imagine how physically draining and emotionally exhausting it must be to go through this process regularly. It takes a certain amount of resilience to endure such a demanding routine while continuing with daily life, and I seriously admire that. However, I also understand that no matter how strong you are, there are days when everything feels overwhelming. That is completely natural, and you deserve all the care and support available to make things easier for you. 

I recently learned that you felt embarrassed to ask your family about the possibility of a kidney donation, and I thoroughly understand why. It is not easy to bring up something so personal, especially when it involves asking for help. You might worry that it is too much to ask for, and that you are putting a burden on them, or simply because you do not want to inconvenience them. Even so, please know that feeling this way is completely normal. Many people in your situation experience the same emotions in the process. Nonetheless, embarrassment should not stop you from having this conversation, especially when it could change your life for the better. A kidney transplant could make an immense difference in your life. Dialysis, while it is essential, is still a temporary solution. It helps to manage kidney failure, but comes with significant costs. The frequent treatments, dietary restrictions, and overall toll on your energy must make even simple daily tasks feel more difficult than it should be. A transplant, on the other hand, could free you from this exhausting cycle and allow you to regain some sense of normalcy, but also ease the emotional and physical strain your loved ones feel watching you suffer every day. 

Your family may not have considered donation simply because they do not fully understand what you are going through. People do not realise how much of a difference they can make until someone opens up to them about it. They might have assumed that you are managing fine on dialysis, not knowing the daily struggles you endure. By starting this conversation, you are not burdening them, but allowing them to be aware of your needs, which is what family is for. More often than not, loved ones are willing to help in ways we never expect, and they might even want to support you but do not know how to bring it up themselves. 

Of course, bringing up such a sensitive topic feels overwhelming. You might be wondering how to start or what to say to make it feel less like a request, and a way to approach this is to frame it as sharing information rather than directly asking for a donation. You could begin by expressing how dialysis has been affecting you, both physically and emotionally. Let them know how much a transplant could improve your life, allowing you to do the things you might not have the energy to do now. You do not need to pressure them into making a decision, instead help them understand your reality, which can open doors for further discussions. 

There are many success stories I read of people who have received kidney transplants from their family members and gone on to live healthier, fuller lives. For instance, I recently came across a story about someone who had been on dialysis for years, struggling with constant fatigue. After receiving a kidney from a sibling, their energy levels improved drastically, and they were finally able to work without constant exhaustion, enjoy meals without worry, and travel. Their donor sibling also continued to live a completely normal and healthy life, with no regrets about their decision. These stories are proof that transplants do not just benefit the recipient, but they also bring families closer, strengthening their bond through the act of support and selflessness. 

It might help to share some information about kidney donation itself. Many people hesitate at the thought of donating an organ because they worry about risks or long-term effects. However, modern medical advancements have made kidney donation a very safe procedure. A healthy person can live a completely normal life with just one kidney, and most donors recover fully within weeks. In fact, studies have shown that kidney donors often live just as long, if not longer than those with both kidneys, as they tend to be closely monitored and would take good care of their health. Sharing these facts with your family might help ease any concerns they have and reassure them that their well-being would be prioritised throughout the process. 

I also want to emphasise that no matter what the outcome is, having this conversation is valuable. Even if none of your family members are able to donate, simply opening up about your experiences could lead to other solutions. They might help you explore options for finding a donor through wider networks, support you emotionally or even advocate for you. Regardless of the result, speaking about your needs can bring you closer to finding a way forward. 

You are not alone in this, and you do not have to carry the weight of hesitation and embarrassment by yourself. Your family deserves the chance to step up and be there for you in any and every way they can. I hope you would consider reaching out to them, even if it is just to share how you are feeling each day. You also have the right to get the best possible chance at a healthier and happier life, and I genuinely hope that this email brings you closer to that goal. Please take good care, and know that whatever happens, you have people who support you wholeheartedly, and if you ever need someone else to confide into, I am always here for you. 

Yours sincerely,

Elaine

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2025 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health).

To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg