Baek Siyeon, 16

School: Greenridge Secondary School

Topic: An email to encourage a kidney dialysis patient

Award: Distinction, Senior Category, 2025

Dear Mr Lee, 

I hope you have been doing well! Last week, we had a brief conversation about asking your family members for a kidney donation during my community service visit. Your story truly etched into my memory, especially about how you felt embarrassed to discuss the possibility of a kidney donation with your family. And when you told me, “I didn’t want to burden them,” my heart clenched with a strange intensity. It made me realise how often love disguises itself as silence, and how far too often, we bear burdens out of fear that it will forever change how our loved ones see us. And perhaps that’s why a conversation about organ donation may have felt so disconcerting. However, I truly believe that you should discuss this with your family, not just for your sake, but for your family too. Hence, I hope to share possible ways to start that conversation in a sensitive manner. 

Before I say anything else, I want you to know that whether you start that discussion with your family or not, you will always be one of the bravest people I know. I might not fully grasp what you had to go through, but visiting the dialysis centre gave me a glimpse into just how taxing it is, not just physically, but mentally too. It seemed like a routine that subtly changed the lives of so many people. Even though most of the patients I met were grinning and making jokes with us, I could still feel the underlying weariness that accumulates every week due to the frequent hospital visits, the limitations, and the waiting. To endure all this and live each day with such optimism and positivity is deeply inspiring, and I greatly respect your strength for that. 

I completely understand why you may think asking for an organ donation from your family could feel embarrassing. After all, how does one even bring it up without the atmosphere turning tense and awkward? But beyond this initial discomfort, I think it’s important to remind yourself that getting a transplant doesn’t just help you, it helps your family and the people you love. They wouldn’t have to constantly adjust their plans to accommodate long dialysis sessions, worry about you getting hospitalised and stress over the financial burden of it all. Everyone you love will have peace of mind because of it, not just you. And paradoxically, asking for an organ donation is the greatest gift you can give them; the chance to spend more time with a strong and healthy you. 

Honestly, it may just be that your family has not considered kidney donation because they did not know you needed it. I feel that for most people, the idea of an organ donation is quite novel, and is a phrase wrapped in medical complexity and emotional unease. Many people even assume it’s dangerous or only a last resort. So, without you initiating the conversation, they may never think it is a viable option. But when you do, you help your family to begin to understand what a transplant could mean for you, and that being a living donor is a safe and viable option. 

Instead of making it feel like a request, you could begin by simply sharing a moment before asking for an organ donation. For example, you could talk about our recent visit to the dialysis centre and interacting with the students, or just about how you started to learn how much a kidney transplant could do for people. This lets them ponder the possibility of it without any pressure to decide, ensuring that their intentions come from a place of genuine care that doesn’t feel obligatory. 

It is also pivotal that you bring up the discussion not with a question, but with a confession. This requires honesty; to acknowledge that you have been apprehensive about bringing this topic up, but that you trust they will understand. It humanises the conversation, preventing it from feeling transactional and instead creating a moment of genuine trust. You can also weave storytelling into your conversation. Share an article, a documentary, or a personal anecdote from the dialysis centre about someone’s transplant story that touched you. You can then tie it to your situation, perhaps telling them how it made you reflect on your situation. I am sure that by letting the conversation begin with someone else’s story, it eases some of the weight of the conversation. 

And if you ever feel like initiating this discussion with your family feels distressing, you can always start with one person. Perhaps you can start talking to someone you are close to, like your siblings. Talk to them, help them understand what organ donations entails, and encourage them to ask questions to clear up any doubts. As you start voicing your thoughts, slowly, the conversation may start to feel a little more comfortable. 

I know that none of this would be easy. But whatever the outcome, remember that taking that first step to start this conversation is the most powerful and courageous thing you can do. Because asking doesn’t come from weakness; it comes from a deep level of trust and honesty, the ability to care for them to try and have a better future with them. 

It was a real pleasure to meet you, and I hope that we can keep in touch. I sincerely hope that you will feel ready to talk to your family about a kidney donation soon. Wishing you many happy and healthy days ahead. 

With warmest regards, 

Baek Siyeon

Disclaimer: Please note that the views and opinions expressed in the essays for the Live On Festival 2025 are those of the participants and are not endorsed by the National Organ Transplant Unit (Ministry of Health).

To learn more about organ donation and organ transplantation in Singapore, please visit www.liveon.gov.sg